Foul Fishin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!
Keepin' the post short, got a long day of filmin'...WOOWOO! Soooooo, here's my new challenge video...it took 3 days to get the taste of canned pickled fish outta my mouth!!!! Now, it was a little different when I was in the slammer with my cellmate Big Martha, it was expected....AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA....(GAG REFLEX!!!!!!)
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!!
XX...Jolean

Ass Scratchin'...

Good Mornin' to all you Bloggers out there!!!!

So, as we gear up for another excitin' day of filmin' this weekend, it occurred to me that I haven't been able to get outside yet this winter cuz of all these damn sub zero temps! Well, it's supposed to be sunny and nice tomorrow, so I guess I gotta dig out my long johns and nipple warmers, and I gotta brave that damn weather for ya'all!
It ain't gonna be like the summer where I can piss in a bush, get poison ivy on my butt, scratch my ass, and blend in with the natives...AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Squeazin' and Juicin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Well, have ya'all ever wondered something, like why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? Why won't this burnin' rash go away?
I have, I ponder these questions and remember one thing, it's not the juice from the lemon that matters, it's what ya do with it that counts, and I mean sprayin' that shit in the eyes of that damn toothless stripper that keeps my ex Tex in her grip when he's outta prison!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA
What are some questions and resolutions that ya'all have? Share them with me...heehee

Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

CNN and Killin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Well, I'm tired of complainin' bout this nasty weather, so I'm sure ya'all are sick of hearin' it...ahahhahahahhaaa

So I just checked on CNN and this trial is about to start for a woman accused of killing her 2 toddlers! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PARENTS THIS DAY AND AGE????!!!! PSYCHO F'ING LOSERS!!! I got 8 1/2 of my own and feel like killin' them most of the time, lol, but I wouldn't actually do it!!!
Apparently this woman left her 2 sons in a locked vehicle with the heat on high for 2 1/2 hours while she had sex 6 feet away in another car!!!! This sickens me and this is the reason I BELIEVE IN THE DEATH PENALTY YA'ALL!!! Fry that bitch like the garbage she is!!!! Or they should set her on fire, bring on some Saudi Arabi laws for dirt bags like this sick individual.
I ain't even gonna try to go into any kind of reasonin' or scenarios, it is what it is, and she should pay.
All we can do is pray that justice is served and be thankful they aren't with that stupid person.
Well, that was a rant and a half, and that's also why I don't like to read the news ya'all!!! LOL
MAYBE I SHOULD BECOME A BOUNTY HUNTER!!!! GO AND CAPTURE ASSHOLES AND BEAT THEM UP...release the aggression....heehee

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't forget to find the positive and SMILE!
XX...Jolean

Grammy's and Rear Entry Lovin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Snow snow, go away, kiss my cornhole and watch me spray...AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAA....I don't know, I was tryin' to rhyme and wanted to get back at this snow and cold weather...heeheeeheeeeheeeheee

Did ya'all watch the Grammy's last night?? The performances were real interestin', but I wasn't all about Beyonce's performance. I couldn't understand half the stuff she was sayin', she looked like a one dollar floor whore, and she fergot to do her hair before she went onstage!!! SHE LOOKED LIKE A DROWNED RIGHT WHO'S INTO S&M!!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
I like the more dramatic stuff like Katy Perry's witch and horse performance, she's got a talented creative team behind her....I REMEMBER this one time when I had a team behind me, takin' turns, leavin' a quarter in a jar when they was done, I was a really popular cheerleader in school...(winkwink)

Well, I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Brownie Cookin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!
Here is the easiest recipe ya'all will EVER find.
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!
XX...Jolean

Meatballin'...

Another new Vault Series Vid, so check it out and stay tuned to see what kinda decorations I put on my balls, uh meatballs...heehee
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE! :)
XX...Jolean

Kiddin' and Coldin'...

Good Happy Mornin' to all you Bloggers out there!!! :)

Well, minus the fact that it's 40 below zero with the wind chill factor, I have to say that I AM FREEZING MY M'F******* ASS OFF!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! When the hell did I decide to move to Antarctica???!!! I was probably drunk, naked, and on a Dare when I did!!! ahahahahahahahha!!!!

And in this kind of weather, my kids ain't goin' to school, that's bullcrappers!!! If humans wanna try and survive outside in this cold, then fine. But that school system ain't gonna make my kids suffer!!! That's my job dammit!!! Now they are goin' out sleddin'...heeheehee

Well, I hope ya'all are stayin' warm, especially you bastards in warm climates!!!! LOL
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Fartin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Well, today is a day of filmin', so stay tuned, we got new episodes every day now....WOOWOO!!!!
So with that bein' said, I'm gonna share a little quote that my girl Dolly(Parton!!!) likes to tell me every once in a while....
"You can't change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails."
Thought of the day, plus if yer out in a boat, ya can fart all you want!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA

Have a Happy Day Ya'all and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Cornbreadin'...

Smugglin' and Queenin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Well, here we go again in our chilly winter wonderland... I'm thinkin' I shoulda let them homeless Guatemalans abduct and kidnap me in the back alley by the mall last summer and smuggle me to Barbados where I would have reigned as their Big White Queen of their poor and dirty tribe. Dammit, I missed on a warm wet weather climate...SON OF A BITCH!!!

Well, with that bein' said, I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, don't ferget to SMILE, AND STAY WARM!!!!!!!!!!!
XX...Jolean

Squattin' and Thrustin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

So I was up and down like a damn richter scale last night, from fantastical dreams, so I figure I was prolly abducted by aliens again, flying here and there and layin' on cold tables, and no dinner before all the action! HOW RUDE! LMAO
Well, my butt is sore too, but that's from workin' out, THAT'S RIGHT YA'ALL, all this krazy filmin' and my brother/manager has me on a damn diet and workout schedule....ME!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!! I ain't squatted since I gave birth do my first kid Tanner, and I nearly crapped my britches!!! I may have to start wearin' them adult diapers when I squattin', stretchin' and a thrustin'....somethin's gonna give, and it ain't gonna be purty ya'all....AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAA

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean

Updatin' and Cousin Datin'...

Happy Monday Mornin' to Ya'all out there in Blogger Land!!!!!

So, just and update of what's happenin' here at Team Jolean. We got lots of new webisodes(I think that's the right word...heehee) comin' yer way this week, one fer every day, AND, we got another 'From the Vault Series', since the first one was such a success. They will be released at night every day this week, and we are re-introducin' our cookin' show from the first season! So that's 2 new episodes every day this week!!!! WOOWOO!!! Ya'all said ya wanted more of me, WELL HERE I AM BITCHES, COME AND GET ME, well, at least watch me...heeheehee

Also, I started a Twitter page, so it's still new, and we will be doin' lot's more with it the more followers that join! EXCLUSIVE TWITTER STUFF!!!! Don't worry, I ain't gettin' naked and playin' hide the sausage with my cousin Pete! Been there done that(when I was 12), and I think I learnt my lesson, and lets just say he kinda set the standard for the rest of the men in my life ...AHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA....
And once again, thanks for all the support, love, views, comments...and keep on, keepin' on....WOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOO!!!!
So I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Twerkin'....

Get ready, set, TWERK-OUT BITCHES!!!!
XX...Jolean

Paper Rollin'...

Another Lost Episode! Check it out!
XX...Jolean

Garlicin'....

Mornin' Ya'all!
Here's another new Challenge.
Enjoy and have a safe weekend!
XX...Jolean

Crab Itchin'...

Tea Baggin'...

Good Mornin' Ya'all!
I ain't gonna make this long today cuz we gots a long day of filmin', but if ya'all need some laughs, check out my latest challenge above...don't worry, it gets nasty!!! LMAO
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!
XX...Jolean

Fish Eyein'...

Happy Thursday Mornin' to Ya'all!

I have a question for ya'all out there...
Have you ever bought a can of tuna, or a can of anything fer that matter, and opened it up to find an unexpected surprise??? Like a fish eye??? Or ordered chicken nuggets from a fast food joint, and yer all excited fer the hot yumminess of some deep fried processed bits when you bite into it and realize you are eating a chicken TUMOR???? Please, lemme know yer stories below...heehee

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!
XX...Jolean

Video Sweatin'...

Nailin' and Sewin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

It's another one of them krazy days!!! Beautiful weather and nuthin' to do...heehee!

Actually, I'm haulin' out the ol' sewin' machine and get sum kinda thing goin', as long as I don't sew my pinkie finger to another pillow case! HA! Let's just say that incident required weeks of healin' AND I had to stop wearin' press on nails, although I find that they are like a mini bullet proof vests...AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Well, I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Rainin'...

Enjoy another episode from the 'From the Vault Series: The Lost Episodes'.
XX...Jolean

Squatchin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Well, it's here, Tuesday! AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA....
Kids er off to school, and it's nice outside, I think I'm gonna go on a saquabotch hunt and get lost in the woods! Sometimes you just need to do that in life....get lost, just don't ferget to leave breadcrumbs...heehee
Plus if I find one, then my bed won't be cold for a few nights, cuz I got enough chains and handcuffs to hold down Godzilla!!!! HA!

So, have ya'all ever had any sasquabotch sightin's in yer area or in yer life. Write below and lemme know some stories, cuz I need to know where to hunt...I'M HORNY!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Well, I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!
XX...Jolean

Bikini and Windy Joggin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Woowee! What troublesome winds we've been havin', but thank goodness the temps have been bearable! I was almost ready to get into my bathing suit...ahahahha...or my birthday suit!!!
Actually, that's part of my ritual to stay good lookin' fer summer durin' the winter months, I like to vacuum the house in my bikini and high heels! Boy do them Jehovah witnesses get an eye full and start to runnin' once I answer the door...not to mention my neighbors cuz I like to keep the curtains open, you know, to let the sunshine in! heeheehee
Well, so far this winter I haven't been able to fit my bikini bottom up over my left thigh!!! Actually it stuck on there like a rubber band and I had to cut it off cuz my leg was startin' to dis-color. YIKES!!! Time fer salads jogging and throwin' it all up! ahahahahahahahhahhahahaaaa

Well, I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Drinkin'...

Hey ya'all!!!
Here's a brand new video from our new series 'From the Vault'. Its and old unaired episode from 2009!
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!
XX...Jolean

Twizzlerin'....

In case ya'all missed it, here's the Twizzler challenge...WOOWOO!!!!
Have a Happy Day Ya'all!!!
XX...Jolean

Challenge and Runnin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!
Got a new Challenge Video for you...WOOWOO...AND IT WAS NASTY!!!!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAA
Well, after the visit with Aunt Lerlean and Uncle Vinnie, let's just say I've had the runs fer a 2 days straight!!!! And I ain't talkin' bout no marathon...AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolea

Shoppin' and Strippin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

I tell ya, this cold weather is makin' me grow another, tougher skin! I feel like a damn mutant! LOL! It ain't like California where you can just walk out in yer bra and panties to get the mornin' newspaper, even if yer panties were backwards (think bra down panties up...heeheehee) and the paper was at yer local corner store. It's okay though, cuz we had a lot a homeless there and I blended right in when I needed to. ;)

Well, I gots to keep this short cuz me and my girl Lulu are gonna go out and do some errands like groceries, gettin' our cooters buffed(1/2 price at the wash n' fold, I found a coupon!!!), gotta get some more zip ties fer the exchange student...don't ask, then a magical lunch at my drive thru of choice(I'm thinkin' that pink goop turned into chicken nuggets place), and to see if we can make a coupla bucks at amateur night at the local strip club, Lulu always slips off the pole, I always stick!!! AHAHAHAHAAAA

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean

Chowday and Squirrelin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Well, my Uncle Vinnie and Aunt Lerlean cam fer a visit fer dinner last night. Homemade clam chowdah and biscuits they brought....total yummerz! Of course, Aunt Lerlean couldn't make it to my front door without killin' a squirrel and bird, which she de-feathered and skinned and gutted in my sink to make a meat pie to go with dinner! I was expectin' the crazy antics to come from my kids....

Needless to say, the kids ended up with a squirrel cap and feather headdress....TALK ABOUT A CRAFT EPISODE!!! AHAHAHAHHAAAA

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Windy and Toiletin'....

Mornin' Ya'all!

Well, it's one of them bed days....LoL! Kids er off to school, and I feel like shit! The wind is whippin' outside, I can only hope a tornado starts up and sends my ass to Oz! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA!!!!

I suppose it's time to make some tea and eggs and put my feet up and turn on the tv...Holy Duck Farts I better not be pregnant again!!! I will cut my ex Tex!!! Wait he hasn't been here in a while, hmmmmm, guess it coulda been his brother or the UPS man...LMAO

Well, I hate to cut this short today, but I got go hang out with my best friend the Porcelain Goddess...

Have a Happy Day Ya'all, and don't ferget to Smile!!!
XX...Jolean

Frozen Boobies Wigglin'...

Happy Monday Mornin' to Ya'all!!!

Wowzers, it is icy out there!!! School is cancelled, so the kids are stayin' home....AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Actually, it ain't so bad, cuz we live on the lake and they are gonna go outside and skate and crap, whatever kids do in this weather....LOL

Well, we had a busy weekend, I done some shoppin' with my girl Lulu, and the people at Walmart are KRAZY!!!!!! Rude and crap, check out my video if ya haven't seen it yet about me and Lulu bitchin' and complainin' and laughin' our asses off!!!!
Then we did lots of filmin', and I thought my camera man Lou was gonna flip with all the crap I put him through, BASTARD!!! ahahahahahhahahahahahahhahaaaaaa

Oh, and I had to get some wood fer the stove this mornin' at like 5am, so I get all dressed up, ready fer the cold air, but it was ice, EVERYWHERE!!!! Well, after fallin' on my ass, I said F it, and wiggled like a snake to the shed to get some wood, then I wiggled my way back, after throwin' the wood across the ice to the house...lemme tell you, my boobies were so damn numb, plus they ain't seen that much action in a few months! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Stay safe out in the treacherous weather ya'all.
Have a HAPPY DAY and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)

XX...Jolean

Handcuffed and FNL'in....

Mornin' Ya'all!!!
Well, I hope ya'all enjoyed my new challenge video above....let's just say I never thought a human could drool that much...AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAAA
So, kids are back to school, Tex is back in the slammer, and I am stayin' in and stayin' warm! heehee
I am so sick of battlin' this damn 'record-setting' cold snap we got back here in Maine, sub zero temps!!!! Thank goodness I had the family do everything that needs to be done to get by so I can watch my stories on the teletube....heehee
I've been watchin' that show 'Friday Night Lights' on Netflix, and let's just say I need Kyle Chandler naked and handcuffed to my bedpost after a bottle of Viagra....rmph!!! Besides it also bein' a really good show, only i got 4 more seasons to go....WOOWOO!!!!
I hope ya'all have a HAPPY DAY, and don't ferget to SMILE!!!!
XX...Jolean

Cheese'n and a Prison'...

Mornin' Ya'all!
Here's a new and fun and super easy little cookin' episode! The recipe comes from my old cell mate, Big Martha. And believe me, she is one KRAZY Kooter!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA....she was always doin' the easiest things so she could focus her energies on more important things, like me...uggg....lol
I hope ya'all are stayin' happy safe and warm.
XX...Jolean

Florida Dreamin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!
Okay, I am ready fer florida now....uggg!!!! I think I'm gonna pack the Family Thorton up and GO!!! lol
Short and sweet today, gotta help thaw pipes and chop wood and try to raise the freakin' temps above 50 degrees in this damn icebox....uggg!!!
I need my sunny beaches and a giant bottle of RUM!!!! AHAHAHAHHAA
Have a Happy Day ya'all and don't ferget to smile, cuz believe me you, it's one of them days where i'm strugglin' with it!
XX...Jolean