Mornin' Ya'all!!!
Soooo, here's another little fun filled story of the summer....
I get back here to Maine, minus half of my kids which I now regret, since I was plannin' on just loungin' around while they did all the yard work. Well, my and the leftovers had a knife throwin' contest at the ol' man down the street to see who was doin' what fer the summer! heehee, I got an arm, so I get stuck with mowin' the damn lawn!
Well, I get all excited and nearly peed when I see there's a ridin' lawn mower! It's got a cup holder for my cocktail, a boom box duct taped to the side for my cassette tapes, YOU KNOW I'M GONNA BE ROCKIN' THAT SHIT FER THE SUMMER!!!! WOOWOO!!!
Well, I get my cut offs on, my bra top, and I am glistenin' head to toe cuz I just rubbed myself down in baby oil....hmmmmm, I love to give a show to the neighbors....ahahhahahhahahhaaaa
Anyhoo, I get my drink, put in my patsy cline cassette tape, and go to start that bitch up when BOOM!!! Nothin' is happenin'...the damn ridin' lawn mower is broken!!! And after much swearin', kickin', and a cryin', I find myself in a pickle, great now I'm hungry dammit!!!
And needless to say, I've slept with most of the neighborhood mens that would know how to fix it, well, they all ended badly, and I ain't got money to do shit with it either!!! Great, now I'm hot, hungry, AND horny....SON OF A BITCH!!!!
Well, guess what this gal is doin' fer the summer until my knight in shinin' speedo comes to rescue me??? THAT'S RIGHT, I AM WEED WHACKIN' THE DAMN LAWN WITH AN ELECTRIC WHACKER, AND A `1000 FOOT ELECTRIC CORD!!!!! This ain't gonna end well ya'all....heehee
Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XXX...Jolean ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment