Drinkin' and Fallin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Tuesday, it's breezy, wet, leaves are full colors right now, and fallin' to the ground, like love gone sour...heehee....it actually smells amazing' ya'all, specially when ya got a homemade apple pie in the oven, kids are at school, and my stories are on the boobietoobie....heehee
now all i need is to fill my damn liquor cabinet....SON OF A BITCH!!! My ex tex was home and he and his buddies drank all my wine, my scotch, my rum, them bastards!!!! And that was just in one night!!!!
Well, thank goodness i'm gettin' to the city next week, time to stalk, uh, I mean stock up....heeeheee ;)

Have a Happy Day ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Monday, Mondayin'...

Happy Monday Mornin' to ya'all!!! :)

Well, with kids back in school, Halloween right around the corner, and that weird patch of back hair finally waxed off, this gal is ready to roll....okay, now what...AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA
It seems like one thing after another, but in a good way, like when the sailors are in town...heehee

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE! :)
XXX...Jolean

mornin' ya'all.....

hittin'.....snoooze.....button.....again.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Joke of the Hump Day...

Happy Hump Day ya'all!!! :)

It's Joke of the Day time....woowoo!!!!

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What kind of bees make milk?

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Boobies!!!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Odor Eatin'...

Happy Tuesday Ya'all!

Well, fall is officially here, I will say it and accept it and move the F on!!! LOL It's what I gets fer jumpin' into Halloween in September, but now I can really bask in the aroma of it, wait, I think my ex Tex just farted....AWWWW HELL!!!! Now I'm feelin' the vapors and I think I'm gonna pass out, that filthy son of a bitch!
Diggin' out my wool sweaters, wait no, rats have been nestin' in my underwear drawer....DAMMIT!!!
It looks to be one of them days....ugg!

Have a Happy Day ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE! :) ...even through the odors tearin' up my sinuses!!!!
XXX...Jolean

Wilderness Sexin'...

Happy Monday Ya'all!!!

I swear, this weather is takin' it's toll on everyone back here, freezing weather at night, then yesterday I was runnin' around naked up at the river, well, just my top off so the 'ladies' could breath and clap...heehee Then I was attacked, well drunk and couldn't say no or fight him off(and actually maybe I attacked him/it), by a saskabotch!!!! Well, maybe he was just a REALLY hairy mountain man, anyhoo, he couldn't speak a lick of, wait lick horny....lmao, of english, and I was bent over a mossy tree stump, with my skirts damp from the river, and throwin' up a lil' in my mouth cuz he was very 'anxious', and well, ya'all can let yer imagination run wild, cuz I kinda blacked out, and let's hope i ain't pregnant with a baby saskabotch!!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!!!!
Now it's windy and whippin' like a son of a bitch!!!! Like true New England Fall Fashion....F THAT!!!!! LMFAO

Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Chillin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Freezin' temps!!! REALLY???!!!! I am not ready fer a repeat of last winter so damn early!!! I've already got myself wrapped in a quilt, AT THE BEACH!!!! It's so damn confusin' ya'all, just like the shower room at prison...heehee
That's okay, I've got an escape plan, Calgon and Wine!!!! ahahhahahahahahahaaa....that's just gotta get me through the winter, it's just gotta! Steamy baths and alcohol, that's the name of my new book!!!! LMAO

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, stay warm, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Saskabotchin'...

HAPPY HUMP DAY YA'ALL!!!

It's a gorgeous day! The kids are at school and this lil' gal is goin' fer a hike in the wilderness!!!! I'm hopin' that a saskabotch is gonna take me away in the woods! The aliens ain't takin' me yet, or maybe they have cuz my ass is sore, WAIT, that might've been my ex Tex since he's fresh outta prison, and that's all he knows...AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA
I need some real luvin' and action, when I'm AWAKE!!!! LMAO

Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Joke of the Day!

Happy Tuesday Ya'all!!!

Oki doki, here's a lil' joke fer ya.... ;)

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How do trees access the internet?
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They LOG in!!!!
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AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA
Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Schoolin'...

Hey ya'all!

Well, I ain't got much to say, cept that this gal is goin' back to school!!!! WOOWOO....signin' up fer online schoolin' is a pain the ass, so we'll see how it all works out! :) I need to be furtherin' my education so I can make me some monies and know big words like Kazam!!!! ahahahahahaa
I can barely help the kids with their homework, so I figure if i'm busy with my own classes, then they can leave me the hell alone! LMAO

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Weatherin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

I just mowed the damn lawn, and then we got showers, and guess what now???!!! Leaves on the lawn, ALREADY!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!!
I know it's September and all, but geez, this cold weather ain't what it used to be when I was a wee lil' girl when I used to be able to snuggle up to my honey durin' a bonfire drinkin' and havin' a good ol' time cuz I was warm, in OCTOBER!!!! LMAO
Now there's creaks and moans from my body and I'm ready to just suit up in my thermols!!! SCREW THE COLD, especially after such a horrendous winter last year, and at my age! Bastard cold fronts and all that other crap goin' on in the world.
I think I need to go back to Florida or some other tropical location fer the winter and get this snow bird shit under way....ahahahhahahahaaa

Have a Happy Day ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE!!!!
XXX...Jolean :)

Flower Gardenin'....

Hey ya'all!

Ooooh boy, it is rainin' like a leaky diaper over here in Maine! It is beautiful and much needed, like a shot of whiskey! heehee
I am so blessed with a late season flower garden. I am the kinda gal who just throws shit in the ground and waits to see what happens, cuz I love surprises!!!!! heehee I've got some beautiful Bachelor Buttons, Lillies, Cosmos, some other alien things I don't know what the hell they are(must've been that UFO and box of wine...ahhahahahaa), and of course my basil which has been strugglin' all summer is now perky like my boobs were when I was, well they're still perky....(wink-wink)

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Blonde Joke of the Day!

Mornin' Ya'all!

Happy HUMP Day everyone!!!!
It's JOKE OF THE DAY time....woowoo

Two blondes walk into a building...
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...you'd think one of them would have seen it!!!!!
AHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA

Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Cleanin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Well, it's another one of them autumn days, in September!!! LOL Son of a Bitch!!!
It's alright, I got enough spice in my tea, and if that don't hold me warm, then it's a swig of cough syrup and whiskey...heehee
I got lots to do, spring cleanin' on the other end, fall cleanin'...and wouldn't you know, the school had a problem with me bein' honest and wantin' to keep the kids home to help out, screw that! Tryin' to get them to do anything after school is hard enough, so I gotta go it alone. Got my maids uniform on(tight as can be, but my cleavage looks amazin'!!!! lol), rubber gloves(who knows why the hell they are stickin' together and discolored), and my Dolly Parton music playin' on high...mmmmmm, high (sigh), how I miss the good ol' days...heehee

Have a Happy Day ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Halloweenin'...

Hey ya'all!!!

Happy Monday!!! Oooooooh, fall is already here, my bones are already achin' and creakin' with that damn chilly weather, of course, it's also a sign of HALLOWEEN!!!!!!! WOOOOWOOOOO!!!!!
I tell ya, I rattled pots and pans, and fired off a gun, to get the kids up yesterday! They was so scared and confused and cussin', actin' like I got'm up fer church or sumthin'...ahahhahahahahhahahahaaa......
But no, this sweet mama had cocoa and brandy ready fer a day of Halloween house decoratin'!!!!!
Oh what a blast we had, from what I can remember...lol. And this year, I ain't puttin' any decorations out on the lawn, cuz last year, everyone who I stole decorations from, must've stolen them bitches back....SON OF A BITCH!!!
Anyhoo, I hope ya'all enjoy the leaves turnin' color(see, I'm no racist...heehee), the chilly nights with warm(alcoholic) drinks, and snugglin' up with, well, I need to find someone/something to do that with, but until then, HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN SEASON YA'ALL!!!!
and, yes, we will definitely have some new Halloween vids fer ya comin' in October!!!!!!

Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Fridayin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

IS IT FRIDAY ALREADY???!!! Holy crappers!!!
Well, I'll just post this lil' biddy cuz I gots a busy day and weekend and will be back on this damn blog on Monday fer ya'all!
So go pack that in a pipe and smoke it....ahahahahhahahahahahahah

Have a Happy Fabulous Weekend and don't ferget to SMILE, AND SHARE THE SMILES WITH OTHERS! :)
XXX...Jolean

Family Doctorin'...

Hey Ya'all!

Wooweeeee!!!! Is it a hot one out thar today!!!
Just finished takin' Ma Thorton to the doctors in the city (any town with a population over 5,000 is a city to me back here in Maine...ahahahahahhahahahhaaa), a follow up to her surgery, and everything seems normal, of course, I keep tellin' her to tell the doctor's to check her head...heehee She always just gives me that sideways glance of hers, and reminds me that i'm her offspring and shit runs in the family!
HA!

Anyhoo, I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean

Sexy Jokin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Just wanted to share a lil' ol' joke with ya!
...and it's a gross one, heeeheee

What's the difference between being hungry and horny?
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Where you put the cucumber!!!

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA, and see, I told ya it was gross...heehee
Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean