Moanin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!
One more post before the weekend! And it's gonna be a hot one ya'all! heehee

Well, i got a stupid joke for ya'all that my ex Tex always loves to tell when he can speak a sentence without slurring...heehee

How are women and tornadoes alike?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
They both moan like hell when they are coming, and take the house when they leave!
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Have a Happy Day ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE! :)
XXX...Jolean

Skull Battin'...

Hey Ya'all!!!
So, guess what?! Well, ya'all gotta guess before I tell ya! AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAAAAA
Well, my Aunt Lerlean came for a visit, and holy high hell on wheels that she can be stickier than an armful of porcupines!!! Her and Uncle Vinnie had one of their spats, so she drove over here from the trailer park, with a flat tire, a busted out windshield, and blowin' smoke everywhere!!! Cryin' and yellin' and holdin' a baseball bat with what I thought was blood. She missed him in the kitchen and smashed some strawberry preserves! ahahahhahahahhahah....heehee
So, I was tryin' to calm her down holdin' a gun on her and not lettin' her in the house til she dropped the damn bat! Right???!!!
Well, I still go through that kinda shit with my ex Tex, so I ain't got much to look forward to in the future I guess, SON OF A BITCH!!!!!
But, I'll tell ya, 9.5 times outta 10, there ain't anything a bottle of Mr. Jack Daniels don't cure, unless he's the reason it all started.
Well, me and her ended up butt naked in the lake, dodging water moccasins, and drunk off our asses....whoooowheee...what fun!
We all sobered up in the mornin' and life is as sweet as pecan pie with whip cream on top right now!
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE ya'all!!!!
XXX...Jolean

Air Conditionin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!
It's another hot day here in Texas, and the breeze sure does feel nice! My damn kids are either huddlin' down by the pool, or huddlin' inside the air conditioned apartment...heehee....that's how it is, rushin' from one air conditioned place to another! And boy is it necessary. I guess my body was made for the 4 Seasons, that's the name of my Pimp's new musical group...ahahhahahhahaaa
But, all in all, ya'all take take the country outta the girl, unless yer constipated, then you need an enema, cuz that's what we used to call our poo's, country taters....AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE! :)
XXX...Jolean

Crack Sweatin'

Hey Ya'all!
Well, with all this sweatin' goin' on down here in the south, I feel like I need to invest in some super absorbent diapers!!!! LMAO
I can't believe crooks and crevices that I have that are pouring out sweat quicker than a hobo with a new bottle of scotch..SON OF A BITCH!!!! AHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAAA
Well, with all this sweatin', I tell ya, I better be droppin' some pounds...heehee, yeah right, I'm bloated up like a raccoon with syphilis!!! And if ya ain't seen that sight yet, well, believe me you, it's bloated...heehee
I hope ya'all have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean ;)

TEXAS TOASTIN'...

Hey ya'all!!!

I know it's been a little while, but I finally moved down south!!!! WOOOOWOOOO!!!! I can't believe I made it down here with almost all of my 8 1/2 kids, and I say almost cuz I lost a coupla them at one of them rest stops...DON'T JUDGE ME DAMMIT, I needed gas money...heehee
Anyhoo, ya'all may as well know, officially, we are in AUSTIN, TEXAS!!!! WOOOWOOO!!!!
It is hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire, but so beautiful!!! heeheehee
I just wanted to touch ya'all, I mean touch base with ya'all and letcha know I am still alive and a kickin'....which reminds me, I've been so damn busy down here, busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest...hahahahhahahahahahahhahhaha

Have a Happy Day Ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XXX...Jolean ;)

Blowin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

It's time to put on them Ruby Slippers...heehee And I wore my Tuesday Panties in case that tornado blows my dress up, blow, NOW I'M HORNY DAMMIT!!!!
Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean

Boxin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Just wanted to let ya'all know over the next coupla weeks there may not be a whole lotta posts or vids to share cuz me and the kids are makin' the big move down South!!! And I'm sure ya'all know how movin' goes...PIMFA, expecially wit 8 1/2 little bastards of terror!!!! aahahahahhahahahahahaa
Well, good thing is, at least they've all been helpin', of course, they packed up my youngest, TB, in a box and duct taped it, we couldn't find him for almost 2 Days!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA.....those kids of mine really know how to seal a box!

Anyhoo, have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean

Lesbian Knottin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Okay, so I went hikin' with my girls Lulu and Bextra-Ann, and lemme tell ya, Holy Rollin' Crappers on Cream Cheese stuck in the Shag Carpet!!!!! LMAO We all got sunburn, sunstroke, windburn, tick attacks, but at least we was bein' active and gettin' some exercise, right? HELLLLLL NOOOOOOO!!!! Not thatta way ya'all!!!
I can barely move, my kids keep pressin' their damn hands on my red skin to make prints, little bastards!!!! ahahahhahahahaa
But, havin' cocktails, and shots, and more cocktails on top of the mountain, then passin' out (hopefully not in a wild lesbian orgy knot, cuz I don't remember, and we do that sometimes...heehee, only when we're drunk.....) and wakin' up to a damn bird shittin' on my leg!!!

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX..Jolean

Postin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Well, YouTube is back on the fritz and they keep messin' with my vids, so enjoy them, again, when I have to re-post them. Sorry ya'all fer the inconvenience. Maybe I need to move to where their headquarters are at and get a job there. Wouldn't that be a friggin' hoot! Jolean in control of youtube, I would whip that shit into shape...heehee.

Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE! :)
XX...Jolean

Mildewin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

It's hot and beautiful and I'm about as damp and mildewy as a basement...heehee My girl Lulu is draggin' me out on a hike up to this place called Table Rock, so I'm hopin' there's gonna be food!!! LOL

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...Jolean

Happy Mother's Day - Jolean Does it!

I hope ya'all are enjoyin' this gorgeous Mama's Day, weather ya got kids, animals, or even a drunk husband, WE ARE THE CARETAKERS!!!!!  AAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean

Scrubbin'...

Good Afternoon Ya'all!

Well, here we are, gettin' a bath from Mother Nature! I actually do like the rain, it's cleansin' and all. I just jump out in my back yard with my soap and shampoo and go to town scrubbin' down!!! AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAA
We are plannin' on doin' lots of filmin' over the weekend, so hold on to yer cooter straps and get ready...heehee

Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE ya'all! :)
XX...Jolean

Adventurin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

So, I went fer a hike yesterday with my girl Bextra-Ann. It was a beautiful day and we started walkin' through fields and came upon the trail that leads into the woods. WELL, there perched on log, was a little old man smokin' a cigar and he asked us if we had seen a blonde girl. We was like 'uh, no', and ran. He was like a troll workin' the toll bridge, and our adventure in wonderland started!!!
I'm talkin' weird growling, animal parts, strange noises, a beer can tree, creepy hollows, it was crazy ya'all, I felt like I was on an acid trip and my pantyhose was all twisted up...heeheehee
But, we got some exercise and made it out alive!!!!

Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean

Luvin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Just wanted to say have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE, and I hope ya'all get lucky on this Hump Day, and yes, I mean get the old meat curtains greased down with some luvin'!!! ahahahahhahaha

XXJolean

Bangin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!!!

Holy Poop and Tits!!! Can ya believe we's in May???!!! Summer is right around the churn, and I gotsta get my bikini body rockin'!!! I mean, it's bad enough when I have to look in the mirror in my undies, of course, my boobies outweigh any and all, butt, well, yes my ass is pretty showy as well, well, I guess I AM READY FER THAT BIKINI....HEEHEEHEE

Plus, I ain't had any complaints yet, so it's time to start gettin' this bangin' bod and start gettin' BANGED!!!! LMFAO

Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE! :)
XX...Jolean

Weatherin'...

Mornin' Ya'all!

Here we are at the start of another seasonal week here in Maine...and I say seasonal, cuz we are still gettin' rain, cold, warm, sunny, hail, wind, calm, you name it!!! I'm about to throw down with Mother Nature and make that bitch start talkin'!!!! ahahahhahahahahhahahahaaa
But, that's what ya get fer livin' in New England, of course I'd thought there were gonna be a lot more lumberjacks around to court me as well, but when ya got 8 1/2 kids and the sex drive of a hyena, it can kinda scare them simple minded folks off...heehee
Thank goodness for my lifetime supply of Dayquil and Scotch cocktails. I have pre-mixed a few oil can containers of that love potion in case the end of the world comes, I wanna be swimmin' in a buzz....heehee

Have a Happy Day, and don't ferget to SMILE ya'all! :)
XX...Jolean

Crackin'...

TGIF Ya'all!!!

Wooowoooo!!!!! It's actually a beautiful day here in Maine, I'm still tryin' to get the creaks and cracks worked outta my body from sleepin' in...heehee
Coffee and brandy is helpin' with the transition, DAMN, IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD FRIDAY!!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Have a Happy Day Ya'all, and don't ferget to SMILE!!!
XX...JOLEAN

Hikin'...

Hey Ya'all!!!

So me and my girl Bextra-Ann went fer a little hike yesterday in this little hell-hole we both grew up in....I mean, this quaint little hell-hole...heehee
Anyhoo, there is a trail in the woods that goes up a mountain next to the river, and it has waterfalls and moose shit clumps, the whole Maine Wilderness experience. And it's also a very popular trail that a lot of hikers like to use.
So, we was enjoyin' our day, walkin', hikin', drinkin', yellin' at squirrels, huggin' trees, pissin' in bushes, you know the drill...heehee
Well, we get to the top and guess what the hell they built up there???? AN OUTHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! In the middle of the damn forest!!!!! And it had a broom in it too!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS NEXT, A TACO STAND????!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

I hope ya'all have a Happy Day and don't ferget to SMILE!!! :)
XX...Jolean