Thunder and Lightening and a Shocker up my Beaver Creek...

Happy Wednesday ya'all!
Well, I got all moved into my new place, and thank goodness it's on the water. Now I got a place to piss for free!!! AHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!!
And only half of my kids have found the house, so I'm still good for another week till I got all 8 1/2 of them, again, crying for a free meal ticket...UGGGG!!!
Everyone that lives down here told me to listen at night for the 'magical' sounds of the Loons. SON OF A BITCH!!! It sounds like they are all getting f'd five ways from Sunday, like one big squealing orgy!!! Now, not only do I have to put up with this shrieking, annoying noise, but I'M HORNY!!!
So now there's a thunder and lightening storm ripping across the valley like a son of a gun. And it don't please me, because....
a few years ago, my ex Tex (whom I've been married and divorced from 3 times) told me he wanted to try something kinky, to get our 'love life' going again. I was just like, 'pound home baby, and Mama will squeal...', oh but no, he had to hook up jumper cables from a car battery to my hooha's! Now every time the thunder rumbles and lightening strikes, I get an automatic zapper right up my beaver damn!!!!
They say the reaction will fade in time, kinda like an acid trip.... screw that, I'm enjoying the feeling! AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
Well, have a most happy evening everyone, and watch out for them 'Shockers' from those perverts..(and if you don't know what a 'shocker' is, we'll discuss it later...heehee, or you can google it under sexual slang, eek!)
XX...Jolean