Well Happy Tuesday Mornin' to Ya'all!!!
So, as I was closin' up the house fer the night last night, I saw a shadow and heard a thump outside. Me in my curlers, house coat, and mud mask, grabbed a wooden rollin' pin(in case it was one of my damn kids lol) and made my way outside to see what the hell was up, figurin' I was gonna scare anyone.
I called out, 'hello, is anyone there?' I know, I know, settin' myself up for a good ol' horror movie masked murderer chase scene. I like to keep it real durin' the Halloween season...heehee.
So, as I get closer to this bush where the noise came from, my black cat jumped out of a nearby tree, landed on my back, holdin' on fer dear freakin' life as I start whirlin' about screamin' my curlers off, tripped over my own feet, landed breast down on the wet ground, the friggin' cat can't get his f'ing claws unstuck from my house coat, as I'm still screamin' cuz I'm feelin' them bite into my snowy white supple back skin. Then a little skunk meanders out from the bushes, turns as he sees me, and sprays me in the face!!!
Then a half hour later, as I'm soakin' in a tomato soup bath and checkin' out my new skunk pelt(little bastard...heehee), I thought of one of my most famous lines...
Sometimes you just gotta say 'SON OF A BITCH!!!'
I had a few other colorful words make their way out when the event happened, but this will suffice fer now.
Have a Happy Day Ya'all!
XX...Jolean
omw! you poor thing! on the bright side i guess you dont have to worry about those lezbo's in the shower no more! when i was in jail i didnt shower! to afraid too plus the stink kept them lezbos at a distance! i will have to tell you about my bird story i had over the weekend! its funny. btw i like how your black cat is in alot of your shows! movie star pussy! lol
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! That's right girl, Movie STAR Pussy!!! heehee... and at this point and time, as lonely as I am, I prolly wouldn't mind sum lezbo luvin'...
DeleteCan't wait to hear your bird story, you always inspire me girl! LOL! Luvya!
Well my hubby finally had a whole weekend off which rarely happens, so we took full advantage of it. One activity we did was go down to the waterfront to feed the seagalls. It was a nice sunny day but it was way windy. So i had my window rolled all the way down and there were hundreds of birds wanting bread. they would hover above the truck wanting bread and i would look up at them hovering above me and start laughing. i was kinda afraid i might get shit on in the face but thankfully that didnt happen. well because of the wind the birds kept blowing closer to the open window. well i got freaked the fuck out thinking that one of them would fly right into the open window so i start screaming! people on the beach were staring trying to figure out what was going on, hubby was laughing at me and i was like its not funny! hubby said yeah it is! mynhusband kept saying they arent going to fly in your window, and i was like well what if one does? he said they wont. but i wasnt convinced. so i kept tossing bread, freaking out, yelling and screaming when they got to close to the open window. surprisingly my screaming didnt scare them away! i told hubby it was like the movie the birds! lol i really wish we could have gotten it on tape! but we went back the next day to try to recreate it and film it, but the wind wasnt blowing and i wasnt freaking out so the recreation idea didnt work. but the first day we went was really hilarious. it was a you had to be there kinda moment lol
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