A Burned Monkey and Big 'Assets'

Sunday, Bloody Sunday...

I woke up with a damn headache, until I realized there were no kids in the house!!! WOOWOO!!!
After I bandaged up my knee from dancing on the coffee table with excitement, it was glass and I kinda fell through(SON OF A BITCH, scared the hell outta me....lmao), I got my coffee on!!! hmmmm.....

I sat in my wicker chair by the water, bundled up in my electric blanket, which started to smoke and spark cuz I had to use two different extension cords, and the grass was kinda damp....WELL, after I got a shock perm, zapped my left tit, and my pet monkey ran up the friggin' tree (have you ever smelled burned monkey hair???!!! It's freakin' nasty!!!! But funny as shit to watch him scamper up that tree, although he did pee in my lap before he jumped and after the shock...poor Bones-that's his name, gettit??? HA!), I realized it's already mid-September!!!!

Where the hell is the time going? The leaves are already startin' to turn color, it's chilly/windy, kids are back in school, and I've already started gettin' calls from my local SBCATVNTLY News Station AND my local newspaper to start doin' my investigative reports on all the weird and spooky shit that goes on in these damn small Maine towns.
Great, here I go spendin' most of my time in haunted houses and cemeteries....and don't worry, we are filmin' it all so ya'all can keep video tabs on all the crazy shit I get into. So, that will be startin' this week, great, I'm gonna be on TV and I haven't even lost those last 10 pounds I put on...SHIT! It was stress, well that, and all that scotch, maybe...heehee... ;)
And all you ladies know how it is when you wanna lose that weight to fit into those jeans, or bikini, or so you don't crush you man's pelvis while ridin' on the meat train...heehee, or what the hell ever!!! I am blessed though, cuz I got big jugs and a cushy can....no matter how much I weigh, those suckers are always there!!! HA!
Anyhoo, I hope ya'all have a happy day and we'll talk soon.

XX...Jolean